Most of the time I am quite content with my life in France. I have a loving husband, a wonderful family-in-law, amazing new girlfriends, and a city that never ceases to amaze me with its beauty. In fact, the transition to France has been so much easier than I ever thought it would be, and I am so grateful for that. However, there are some days that living in France drives me folle- crazy! There are so many things that I love about this country, but there are also so many things that I just don't understand. Although I promised myself shortly after moving here that I would stop comparing France to the United States, I also realized that sometimes it's just downright therapeutic to share my frustrations. So, without further ado, here is my list of 5 things about living in France that drive me crazy:
1. Paperwork
Oh, la paperesse. After having studied abroad and working in France you think I would be used to the insane amount of paperwork that the French government throws at you, but alas I still find myself as frustrated as ever. After getting married in June 2015 and sending our dossier to the French Consulate in Chicago it still took almost a full six months before I was finally given my spousal visa. And the demand for my French Social Security number and carte vitale that we sent in October? Apparently it's still processing. Not to mention my file that I sent to the French Office of Immigration (OFII) when I arrived in January that according to one worker "got overlooked" and "forgotten about." As my husband says, as soon as there is the slightest problem the French create a paper for it, but eventually they have so much paperwork that they are drowning under it and can't keep up. Talk about exhausting!
2. Customer Service
In the United States the customer is king. We have client satisfaction surveys for everything and if you aren't satisfied you better believe that an American company is ready to bend over backwards to fix the problem and ensure your happiness. In France, that is the furthest thing from the truth. In February of this year our Internet suddenly stopped working. When Florian called the internet company to see what was going on no one had the time of day to talk to my husband. They transferred him from person to person before someone finally explained that their system had gotten a "virus." They promised to fix the issue as soon as possible and call within the week. Well, we waited, and waited, and waited. Week after week Florian, a loyal customer of this company for the past 10 years, called and asked for an update on the situation and week after week no one wanted to help. Finally after FIVE weeks without wifi and a threat to leave the company they reconnected our Internet. Only in France...
3. Hours of Operation
One of the most frustrating things for me to get used to in France is the hours of operation. I understand that in the United States we are probably pretty spoiled with our 24 hour Walmart and McDonald's drive thru open until 2am, but France could take a lesson or two from the United States in hours of operation and productivity. Need to buy something in France on a Sunday? Impossible, almost EVERYTHING is closed on Sunday. What if you need to pick something up after work? You better hurry because stores and pharmacies close at 7pm. Think you can run some errands on your lunch break? Well, that's not happening because the bank, post office, copy center and almost any other business you can think of are all closed between 12pm-1:30pm. Sometimes I think that French stores and businesses are closed more often than they are open!
4. Expat Laws
I know that moving to any country would be difficult, but the more time I spend here the more I am convinced that France is the most difficult country to move to. Coming from a large, well known country like the United States I may have naively believed that things would run a little smoother for me, but at this rate I may as well be from Mars. I had to pay 70 Euros to prove that my diploma from the University of North Dakota was indeed accredited and legitimate. Not to mention the fact that my teaching license that I worked so hard to get is worth nothing in France. However, the most frustrating for me is learning that although I have been driving since I was 16 years old and possess a valid driver's license from the United States that isn't good enough for the French government. I recently discovered I need to start back at square 1 and sign up for Driving School where I will be required to take classes and complete behind the wheel before taking la code--the written test and the actual driver's test. The worst part of it all? It's going to cost us 1,000+ Euros!
5. The Strikes and Manifestations
When I moved abroad I enrolled in the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP) through the US Department of State so that I could be alerted of any travel alerts or possible safety threats. This is something that proved to be very useful during the terrorist attacks in Paris last November. However, what I wasn't anticipating when I signed up were the almost weekly e-mails about the strikes and manifestations taking place in Bordeaux and around France. The French have a reputation for striking and when they take to the streets protests often become violent. In my time in France I have seen chairs thrown from university windows, small fires started in the street, and fully armed police chase away rowdy protesters. However, what really bothers me about French strikes is the major inconvenience they cause for the average person. Strikes cause the tram hours to be reduced, major streets to be closed, extra long lines at the airport, flight and train cancelations, and more. Don't get me wrong, I understand the French people's right to express themselves, but when there are 3-4 strikes a month it gets old fast!
Although it's not always easy living in France I'm trying to learn to embrace the differences and overlook the flaws. I have to remind myself that no country is perfect and even the United States has its faults. After all, it's in moments of change and frustration that we grow and learn more about ourselves than we ever thought possible.
Sounds like you've had an exceptionally rough time. I had no trouble with the spousal visa (and my husband is Belgian and we are living in France. He has the right, as an EU citizen, to live in France, and the fact that I got the OK so easily was a surprise to me, honestly). I was on his social security number and carte vitale for a few months before starting my own company and having my own stuff.
ReplyDeleteI had lived in Belgium before, and had turned in my NY driver's license for a Belgian one. So when we moved to France, I handed over the Belgian license and got a French one. No driver's ed. (Almost 20 years in Europe and no accidents, so it seems to work, knock on wood). I am surprised that turning in your U.S. driver's license didn't get you a French one.
I don't see the strikes and such because I work from home and live in a little village. To me, the scariest thing is the inheritance law. Spouses get almost nothing; the idea is that inheritance goes to the children. But I have one kid, who is still in school. My husband has another, from an earlier marriage, 22 years older than our kid together. So if my husband were to die, stepdaughter, whose education already was paid for 20 years ago, could force out her half-sibling and me from our home because we would have to fork over her inheritance on the spot. And there's no allotment for education, to say, both kids should be treated equally. Basically, the younger one gets screwed. This is worse because my husband lost his job 4 years ago, so I am supporting the family and don't feel any obligation toward the stepdaughter, who already got a big inheritance from her maternal grandfather. French law doesn't take any of this into account. My earnings are my husband's earnings, which means they are split between his two kids, one who needs it and one who doesn't (she's pushing 40, has 2 houses, a luxury car and a horse, but all we hear is how her daddy should be doing more for her).
Also, unless you're rich, it's impossible to save for retirement. The rich always have a way. But if you're in the microentrepreneur class or slightly above that, you can save in a savings account (zero interest) or invest in real estate. But you can't do any of the IRA equivalents that exist, because the U.S. will zing you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply- I really appreciate it! It has been a rough first year trying to figure out all the paperwork and jump through all the administrative hoops, but luckily Florian has been incredibly supportive and helpful! Unfortunately, starting January 1, 2016 the French no longer allow spouses to be added to an existing social security number/carte vital. It has been extremely frustrating, but every doctor and pharmacy keeps promising that we will be reimbursed when my card comes (fingers crossed!). Also, I'm from one of the unfortunate 35 states in the United States that doesn't allow for a Driver's License exchange with France so I have to start back at square one. It's irritating but I've talked to a few other American expats that have had to go through the same process and they said it's not difficult, just time consuming and expensive!
DeleteI didn't know about the inheritance law in France! Thank you for sharing. That is very scary. When we have children I will have to look more into that. I am very sorry to hear about your current situation with your husband and your stepdaughter. That has to be very frustrating!
The retirement bit that you mentioned is very complicated too! Florian and I have talked about maybe investing in real estate, but it's so difficult to know that best option..
Claire, it is a strange conundrum as, despite all of the above, we still love it there. Like francetaste, though, the laws to do with inheritance and tax are the most challenging. Here, in Australia, I reached out to a French tax agent to help me understand our responsibilities vis-à-vis the French government...that was back in February, the 1st to be exact. Despite me contacting him over and again, we are now only days away from having to submit our French tax return and it still has not been finalised. Worse, still, his response to my request for an update a couple of months ago (not unreasonable I would have thought) was that that was not how he did things and that I should just be patient. Yup! As you say, customer service does seem a bit different...
ReplyDeleteHi Catherine! Thank you so much for your comment. As you mentioned, it is indeed a strange conundrum how despite all the trials and tribulations we still love life in France. I don't know too much about inheritance or tax laws yet, but the bit that I know scares me already! I'm sorry to hear about your French tax return. That has to be so incredibly frustrating! I hope everything gets worked out in time. The French definitely have a different sense of urgency than the rest of the world... Bon Courage!
DeleteFound you via the #AllAboutFrance linky. I agree with all your gripes above - except the expat laws one doesn't really apply since as a Brit I'm an EU citizen (although maybe not for much longer...!). We've lived here in SW France for nearly 19 years and, as you say, you have to recognise that the ideal country doesn't exist. I love it despite the flaws and would find it hard to return to England now. We spent a long weekend in Bordeaux about 18 months ago (first experience, mea culpa) and really loved it. Less than 2 hours on the train from Montauban. We will be back!
ReplyDeleteHi Vanessa,
DeleteThank you so much for your comment! You are so correct in saying that although France drives us crazy at times we still love it despite the flaws. Where in the southwest did you live? I absolutely love Bordeaux and am so glad you had a chance to visit. I hope you'll be back soon! :)
Once you've lived here for 20 years, you'll begin to get used to the erratic opening hours and paperchase. You will accept that in France 'customer service' is an oxymoron, and good luck with the driving lessons - you'll soon be tailgating like a true Frenchperson. :) Sorry I cannot publish to your blog via my Wordpress blog. My URL is https://nodamnblog.wordpress.com/
ReplyDeleteHi Susie!
DeleteThank you so much for your comment and your words of encouragement! I'm sure after a few years in France these things won't phase me anymore, but right now I am definitely adjusting to my new life. I can't wait for the day that I can cruise around (and tailgate) like a true French person. :)
Just like Susie says above, you'll get used to it!!!! Even though I'm an EU citizen I too went through huge hassles to get my Carte Vitale and social security set up and my UK drivers licence has just run out and it wouldn't surprise me if I have to take the test again! Yes there's a ridiculous amount of bureaucracy here, enough for any one of us to write a book or more and at the time when something is going badly you think you'll never forget/forgive/get over it, but you do! I remember sitting on the floor of the Social Security office refusing to budge until a senior person spoke to me. I sat on the floor in the way of everyone coming and going for 3 hours until someone finally got a manager, who then sorted out the problem that had been going on for months in 5 minutes! I swore I'd never get over it, but honestly, it's just one of those stories to tell now. You might also even come to like the time off from shopping! I know that when I go back to UK and see people shopping as a leisure passtime it makes me so sad, there's so much more to do in life than shop. I love Sundays without temptation when we make time for hiking, going to the beach, long family (or friends) meals etc. Having said all this, I do feel for you. No move to another country/culture is ever as easy as it would seem even if superficially the new country appears not to be so different from home. Everywhere's different (thankfully, as life would be so dull otherwise!) and expat is life can be hard. Trust me, I've lived in 9 countries and been an expat for ever!!! But all the cultural difference are fascinating and it's so rewarding living abroad. Letting out your frustrations like this is probably a good way of dealing with it, good luck with settling here!!! Thanks for linking to #AllAboutFrance I'm sure you'll find plenty of kindred souls here!
ReplyDeleteThe particularities of living in France! Yes, can be frustrating especially when comparing (for them it's just what they are used to). F
ReplyDeleteGood point! The French are used to these things so they aren't bothered by them. Hopefully after a couple years in France I will get used to them too!
DeleteI felt the same way when I first moved to Italy!! It's funny how a place can be so frustrating yet also make you fall in love with it. Still, no place like home and it's nice to come back to the conveniences of the US once in awhile. (Though our wine is more expensive and food not quite as good here!) :)
ReplyDeleteHi Rebecca,
DeleteThank you so much for reading and commenting! :) I'm sure you can definitely relate after living in Italy! I love living in France so much but you are right in saying that there is no place quite like home. I'm already counting down the days until I'll be back on US soil (16 days!) for my next visit. Also, amen to cheaper food and better wine in Europe! Come visit anytime!