French Love Lessons

With my one year wedding anniversary being this week I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately on this past year of marriage.  It's incredible to think about how much I have learned and grown as a person, and as a wife, over these past 365 days.  Being married to a foreigner is no easy task, but it is by far the best and most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me.  Being married to Florian has opened me up to a whole new world that I never thought possible.  I have truly been blessed beyond belief and I thank God, and Florian, every day for the lessons I've learned and the amazing adventures this first year of marriage has brought me.  So, in honor of my wedding anniversary here are 5 things I've learned being married to Frenchman:

1. Communication
Communication is so key in any relationship and particularly in a marriage.  I remember when Florian and I were completing our pre-martial counseling and this was one of the major topics that we covered.  I'll be the first to admit that communication has never been one of my strong points, but I like to think that these past few years have started to change that.  Communication has always played a huge role in my relationship with Florian because for many years that's all we had.  Doing long distance is not for the faint of heart.  Whereas other couples were able to express their love with small physical gestures and nights out on the town, Florian and I only had our words.  However, this wasn't such a bad thing.  We learned to really get to know a each other and learned how to express our thoughts, feelings, and needs... in two different languages.  Now that we are happily married and living together we continue to focus on communication, which at times can be quite comical for this Franco-American couple.  Trust me when I say that no matter how good our English/French skills may be there are definitely still moments when Florian and I have had to rely on gestures, Google Translate, and drawings to communicate, but we keep trying and keep communicating and that, to me, is the essential

2. Patience
There is a quote by Saadi Shirazi that I really like: "Have patience.  Everything is difficult before it is easy."  I think this quote perfectly sums up my relationship with Florian.  Three out of the four years that Florian and I dated were spent apart.  As I previously mentioned, long distance is not for the faint of heart and when I first moved back to the United States after my year teaching abroad, a lot of friends and family members told me that Florian and I would never last.  This was extremely hard to hear, but I knew in my heart that Florian was someone special so I decided to be patient and let the relationship run its course.  This, of course, turned out to be the best decision I could have ever made.  Now, there were definitely moments when I got tired of waiting and missed Florian so much I would just sit and cry, but I kept reminding myself that everything is difficult before it is easy.  A lot of my relationship with Florian has been about waiting... waiting to see each other, waiting to get married, waiting for our paperwork to go through, waiting for my visa, but with all this waiting I've learned to become a much more patient person and I know that at the end of the day it is, and always will be, worth it.     

3. Openness
I've always considered myself to be a very open person, but there is definitely a whole new level of openness that comes from being married to someone from another culture.  In the past year I have tried foods I never thought I would ever eat (pigeon, anyone?), attended my first Rugby match, started learning how to drive a manual car, and most importantly, started learning how to deal with all the little intricacies of French life that drive me crazy.  Life in France is definitely different than my life back in the United States, but I am learning to be open to trying new things and learning new things.  Life with Florian is a constant adventure, but he has been such a great teacher and cheerleader for me over the past year as I branch out and try to accept life in my new country.  I can't thank him enough for all the new experiences we have tackled together.   

4. Enjoyment of Life
The French are known for their joie de vivre, or enjoyment of life, and this was one of the first things that made me fall in love with Florian.  He always lives life to the fullest and enjoys all the little things.  Florian is seriously one of the happiest people that I know and over this past year I have been trying to follow his lead and learn how to kick back and enjoy life. Florian has taught me how to stop and smell the roses pick the the mushrooms, savor a three course meal, properly enjoy a bottle of wine, and how not to feel guilty about ordering dessert. Florian has also taught me that every win, no matter how small it is, is worth celebrating and believe me when I say that with Florian there is never a bottle of champagne too far away! There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy, and I'm trying my best to never forget that.

5. Unconditional Love
I wanted to save the best for last because of all the things that I have learned over this past year unconditional love is number one. Leaving behind my friends, my family, my job, and my life to move to France was by far one of the hardest things that I have ever done. This past year has taught me not only what I am capable of, but also what it means to have someone love you so completely that they are ready to do anything to make you happy. Florian has seriously gone above and beyond the call of duty to make me feel at home in France and he has never ceased to put my happiness above his own. No matter what challenges have come our way this year as we battle American and French bureaucracy, I have never doubted that we couldn't overcome them together. I know it sounds cliche, but I fall more and more in love with my Frenchman everyday. Florian is a living example that neither time, nor distance, nor language, nor culture can ever stand in the way of love.

So, to my French husband on our first wedding anniversary: Merci pour toutes les lecons que tu m'as transmises. Je t'aime plus que tout!