My Double Life

When I was a teenager I loved the movie "The Princess Diaries." I found the idea fascinating that a dorky girl from San Francisco could wake up one day and discover that she was a princess and had a whole other life that awaited her on the other side of the world.  The idea of living a double life seemed so cool and foreign to me that I could never imagine that one day something similar could happen to me.  Now I'm certainly no princess, but I can't help but feel like Mia Thermopolis somedays as I try to balance between two completely different worlds.

Ever since returning to Bordeaux after a 5 week stay in the United States I've had many people ask me questions such as "how are you doing?" and "is it difficult to be back in France?"  I've had to think long and hard about these questions as I try to sort out my feelings regarding my current situation, but at the end of the day the truth of the matter is this: I'm doing great and it's not difficult to be back in France because I live two lives and I love them both.

It didn't take long after landing in the United States for me to revert back to my "American habits."  In the blink of an eye I was behind the wheel of my automatic car, eating juicy hamburgers, laughing with my friends over lite beers and margaritas, and watching the American shows I knew and loved. Sometimes, days would pass and I wouldn't even think about France (Florian, yes. France, no).  I was happy to be back in the United States.  I was happy to be back in a city that I knew like the back of my hand, with a language that came to me naturally, and friends that I have known for years.  It was comfortable and I was content.

As the five weeks came to an end, I was filled with mixed emotions as I boarded my plane and headed back to France.  I was so excited to see my husband and my French family, but I was so sad to be leaving the United States once again.  However, as my plane landed in Bordeaux something amazing happened: I got off the plane and flawlessly slipped back into my French life.  The French that I hadn't spoken in almost five weeks poured out of my mouth and I practically salivated as we passed my favorite bakery on the drive home.  My life in France is different:  I take the tram now instead of driving, I eat entirely too much bread and cheese, and I drink wine and champagne instead of margaritas and lite beer.  Although it's not as familiar or as comfortable as my American life, I must say that it does suit me quite well.

I'm not saying that it's always going to be easy for me, and I'm not saying that there won't be days where I wish my life could be simpler, but at the end of the day I don't regret the risks that I've taken to get to where I am today.  My double life has given me two places to call "home," two families who will love me no matter what, and two cultures that push me to be a more global citizen.  I may not wear a crown or live in a fancy castle, but I like to think that I'm still a pretty lucky girl!